when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
