What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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