chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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