can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
