summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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