if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
