Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
