she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
