do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
