Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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