Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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