I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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