yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
