I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
