I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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