No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
