I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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