At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
