i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I donโt think anyone caught on
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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