Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
