Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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