Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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