I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
