worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
