Duck Duck Cougar?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
