We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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