Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
