Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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