she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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