so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now