you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
