i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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