you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
