I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
