PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
