found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
