i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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