he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
