Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
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You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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