yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
