so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.