he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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