The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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