Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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