I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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