and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
