Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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