While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
