I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize