It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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