no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
