I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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