well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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