Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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