belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
