no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize