I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
