I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
