they need to just BURY HIM!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
