I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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